CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING FACTS:
(1) IN 2012, THE CIA'S 'SIMPLE SABOTAGE FIELD MANUAL' FOR SUBVERTING ANY ORGANIZATION WITH 'PURPOSEFUL STUPIDITY' WAS DECLASSIFIED AND PUBLISHED ON THE AGENCY'S OWN WEBSITE. HOWEVER, THE DECLASSIFIED DOCUMENT WAS INCOMPLETE. A PAGE WAS MISSING.
(2) ALTHOUGH IT WAS WRITTEN IN 1944, THE MANUAL WAS UPDATED REGULARLY, AT LEAST UNTIL 2010. THE UPDATES STOPPED WHEN THE CIA LEARNED THAT THE MANUAL HAD BEEN LEAKED, AND WAS CIRCULATING WITHIN TOP-LEVEL POLITICAL CIRCUITS OUTSIDE THE US. THE MANUAL HAD, IN FACT, REACHED THE HANDS OF POLITICAL LEADERS IN EUROPE, LATIN AMERICA AND THE MIDDLE EAST. INTELLIGENCE REPORTS ARGUE THAT IT IMMEDIATELY BECAME THE ANCHOR OF EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS AND STRATEGIES THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, PARTICULARLY IN RUSSIA.
(3) ON DECEMBER 2016, THE IFAPA.ME STAFF IN BARCELONA RECEIVED A MYSTERIOUS PHONE CALL. THE MUFFLED VOICE AT THE OTHER END OF THE LINE HAD AN UNIDENTIFIABLE ACCENT. "I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU. I'LL MEET IN YOU IN TWO HOURS INSIDE THE MCDONALD'S IN PASEO DE GRÀCIA", IT SAID.
AFTER HASTILY PUTTING DIFFERENT SECURITY MEASURES IN PLACE, A MEMBER OF THE IFAPA.ME STAFF HEADED OUT TO MEET THE MESSENGER. INSIDE THE RESTAURANT, SOMEONE WITH DARK GLASSES, A FAKE MOUSTACHE AND HEAVY MAKEUP WAS EATING A BIG MAC. IT HAD TO BE HIM. OR HER? THE MYSTERIOUS CHARACTER HANDED OUT A BROWN ENVELOPE TO THE IFAPA.ME ASSOCIATE AND SAID: "THIS IS THE MISSING PAGE OF THE CIA'S SIMPLE SABOTAGE FIELD MANUAL. THE MANUAL WAS DECLASSIFIED, BUT THIS PAGE WAS KEPT SECRET. OR, SHOULD I SAY, THE CIA TRIED TO KEEP IT SECRET... UNTIL THE AGENCY LEARNED IT HAD BEEN LEAKED, AND WAS ALREADY IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY. THIS PAGE CONTAINS THE SHORT AND SIMPLE ANSWER TO WHY THE WORLD IS GOING THROUGH A STATE OF TOTAL POLITICAL TURMOIL AND CAPITALIST DEVASTATION WITHOUT ANY ARTICULATE RESPONSE FROM THE PEOPLE. PUBLISH IT, MAKE IT KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE FREE WORLD. IT IS OUR ONLY HOPE."
THEN, AS IF PROPELLED BY AN INVISIBLE SPRING, THE UNDERCOVER AGENT STOOD UP AND QUICKLY HEADED TOWARDS THE EXIT, LEAVING BEHIND A HALF-EATEN HAMBURGER AND A FULL BAG OF FRIES. JUST BEFORE DISAPPEARING INTO A CROWD OF TOURISTS AND SHOPPERS, HE-SHE TURNED AROUND AND WARNED: "THIS PLACE WILL BE COMPLETELY DESTROYED IN TEN YEARS BY FORCES YET UNKNOWN. YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ME. THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED."
(4) BUT THE ENCOUNTER DID HAPPEN, AND HERE IT IS: THE CIA'S SECRET UPDATE TO THE 'SIMPLE SABOTAGE FIELD MANUAL', DEDICATED TO THE STRATEGIC SABOTAGE OF SOCIAL NETWORKS THROUGH PURPOSEFUL STUPIDITY. WHILE THE FIRST PART OF THE MANUAL HAD LONG BECOME PRACTICALLY USELESS, THE PAGE BELOW WAS WORTH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN THE BLACK MARKET. WHEN NECESSARY, IT WAS EVEN WORTH MURDER.
BY PUBLISHING THIS DOCUMENT, IFAPA.ME IS FULFILLING ITS DUTY OF DEFENDING THE FREE WORLD FROM THE EVIL FORCES OF THOUGHT, REASON AND DISCOURSE. IFAPA.ME FIRMLY BELIEVES THAT THE ZOMBIE STATE IN WHICH CONTEMPORARY SOCIETIES FIND THEMSELVES SHOULD BE MAINTAINED AT ALL COSTS FOR THE SAKE OF SECURITY, STABILITY AND EFFICIENCY. THEREFORE, THE TECHNIQUES DESCRIBED IN THIS PRECIOUS PAGE SHOULD BE APPLIED INTENSIVELY IN ORDER TO STRENGTHEN AND FURTHER THE AUTOMATIZATION OF THE PEOPLE. USE THESE GUIDELINES WISELY... OR, BETTER YET, USE THEM STUPIDLY!
A FINAL WORD TO CIVILIANS: NOW THAT YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE BEING LED INTO STUPIDITY, IT'S TIME TO STOP RESISTING AND START COOPERATING. ABANDON YOURSELF INTO THE ARMS OF AUTOMATIZATION. IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.
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